his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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