I have demons in me.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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