I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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