They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
