If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
