I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
