Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
