so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
