oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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