dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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