what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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