But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
