tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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