dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
