I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
