Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
