Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
