you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you didnt know i had herpes?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
