I just made out with a guy for $7.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
