How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize