Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
