What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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