Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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