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just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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