i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
