It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
