I think I am morally bankrupt
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
