i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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