Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
