isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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