Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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