YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
