eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
