Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
