ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
