Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
