I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
no. you can't hotbox the world.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
