why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
