I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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