is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
