i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
