I faked an abortion last night.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
