I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
