we have officially lost it.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
