he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
