He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
