he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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