The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
