on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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