i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize