I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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