You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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