In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
