i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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