Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
