Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
