i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
