you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
