So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
