4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
