OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
