butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
